THE G-Scene

     Okay now, I came into college with a boyfriend.  Yes, what was I thinking? I was young and naïve and believed in happily ever after—I was so wrong.  I learned that the hard way.  I mean, seriously –who was I kidding? I really believed the whole long distance thing could work: he would be committed to me and not be influenced by his friends.   I should have figured it was going to go all down hill after the fact he told me he wanted to pledge a frat.  Don’t get me wrong I’m sure many frat boys have girlfriends, but I’m sure they all went through a stage where they would get with any girl that spoke to them.  This will not be a “I HATE MY EX-BOYFRIEND, HE SHOULD ROT IN HELL” entry.  However, it can be called a “What to do after you break up” entry.

     Now when I was with my ex… let’s call him Justin; I had by “Justin box.” I put all of his letters, from past Valentine’s Days and anniversaries we spent together, old pictures, lyrics to “our songs,” prom pictures, homecoming pictures and what other silly nothings he ever gave me, there.  Well when we broke up, or rather when I dumped his sorry ass,  I put all of these things in a metal trash can, lit some matches and watched it all burn…ALL OF IT.  What did I need with it?  All his “ I love you’s” all of his “you mean the world to me’s,” they all turned in to ash.  It was useless,, just like ash.  Anything that could not be burned, like those stupid glass animals that he “bought just because he saw them and thought of me…” well those met my hammer.  Yes, I smashed them all. Those pretty glass animals that were so delicately hand crafted became itsy bitsy glass bits.  And his college sweater he got me when he got into his pretentious Ivy League school?  Well lets say I’m sure someone without much to wear is very warm now because the Salvation Army gave it to a person who needed it for this cold winter.

     I’m sure most of you girls have heard the “Before He Cheats” song by Carrie Underwood and have contemplated carving your name in to his leather seats.  Well, I took a note of Cosmopolitan instead…and I may get judged for this, but I decided to be one of those crazy girls who gets back at her ex.   Silly Justin, thinking he was okay leaving his password with me because he didn’t care what I would see on his facebook.  I came across quite a few “sweet” messages he had with a sorority girl.  Well that young, naïve side of me went out the window…

the fact that Justin had the balls to cheat on me with some snooty sorority girl was a major mistake.  And it was an even bigger mistake to keep his sent messages… I printed out every single one of those messages, typed a label and message to his mother and sent it off.  I thought his mom would enjoy some light reading material from her Ivy-League son; what woman doesn’t want to know if he is asking if “he pulled out in time” or if the girl was “concerned about getting pregnant from his SUPER SPERM (yes he did write that), that she could get a pregnancy test in a few weeks in case she was still nervous because she was not on birth control.”  I’m sure his mother was pleased to know her son took some poor girl’s virginity. 

      In addition I made sure he knew I had a new boyfriend, who is way cuter then he ever was.   Since facebook is one giant media network, I detagged all of our pictures, deleted his old messages, blocked his screen name and lastly deleted his phone number. ALL OF IT GONE.  I am a bitter bitch who has no self-control when it comes to managing my anger.  I want to make sure every bit of what we use to be is erased.  I’m not saying every girl should do this to their ex, but it what a cleansing it was!  I have to say despite all the mess I had to clean up, I’m happy I did it. 

Love always,

     The Pink Ladies

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